ok but one day tony is like “how the fuck do you afford things. you’re captain america you dont have a goddamned day job.” and steve just looks at him “tony, my bank account has been gathering interest since the forties. im fuckin loaded.”
I’d assumed his account would have been frozen
that is the best comment anyone has added to this post and i want to personally thank you for that
im a bad person who thinks bad thoughts like ‘ew what is that girl wearing’ and then remember that im supposed to be positive about all things and then think ‘no she can wear what she wants, forget what other people say, girl u look fabulous’ and im just a teeny bit hypocritical tbh
I was always taught by my mother, That the first thought that goes through your mind is what you have been conditioned to think. What you think next defines who you are.
you know how when you go to a concert or show of some sort and the person on stage is like “HOW’S EVERYONE DOING TONIGHT?!?!?!?!” and the audience cheers back? why? you’re not answering the question, you’re just yelling. imagine if we did that in daily conversation. “hey jeff, how are ya?” and jeff just starts screaming and clapping in your face
you are my sunshine
my only sunshine
you make me happy
when skies are gray
you’ll never know dear
how much i love you
please dont take
my sunshine away
this is the most beautiful post i have ever seen I’m my life
This makes me a happy Irish man
John Mulaney | The Salt & Pepper Diner
THE BEST JOKE IN EXISTENCE
GOD I JUST TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT THIS STORY
This is one of the best pieces of comedy that I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. I love this. I have been looking for this online for awhile.
This is my favorite story ever and I will reblog it every time I see it.